Friday, October 27, 2006

The N word

I’m mortally offended by Amanda’s (slightly tipsy) allegation yesterday that whilst snapping photos of cheese-in-a-can at the stupidmarket, I may have succumbed to the allure of the rows and rows of gleaming Nutella jars arranged below. I shall make allowances for the fact that she was overcome by post-exam champagne bubbles and say no more about this smear on my character.

…..Except that I SO did not buy any!

Just to explain: I have a serious addiction to this chocolatey-nutty spread. It started off innocently enough when I bought a jar last year to add just a spoonful to my protein shakes – this was a tip from a fellow BFL-er and it sounded good to me. But little did I know that you can’t stop at just one spoonful. This is how the insidious stuff works, you see – you have just a little and it tastes so unbelievably good that you have to have a little more…..and then a little more….. and before you know it, you’re hooked. This led to the shameful experience that has since become known as The Nutella Incident. It’s too painful to drag it all up again, but let’s just say that first spoons and then fingers were involved and things spiralled ever downward until I was having my Nutella with peanut butter chasers. Oh, the shame and degradation!

Eventually I knew the only answer was to go cold turkey, so The Baby was given custody of the jar and told to hide it from Mummy and not to hand it over, no matter how much I begged. He and his brother courageously finished off the evil stuff and I haven’t bought a jar since.

It’s a well known fact that this product is extremely addictive – just ask Sara. She can tell you all about the way it’s promoted as a health food in Italy *gasps*. Is there no limit to the depths to which the peddlers of this stuff will stoop? And Shauna shares my problem, as evidenced in her blog entry The brown stuff.

Look, I know it’s full of evil, nasty trans fats. I’ve tried reading the nutrition panel to put myself off, and yes, it’s faintly disgusting. But when I look at the smooth, shiny brownness inside the jar, none of that matters. And God help me if I actually catch a whiff of it…..

Hi, my name is Kek and I’m a Nutella-holic. It’s been 375 days since my last spoonful.

6 comments:

kathrynoh said...

I used to have a thing for scotch finger biscuits dunked in nutella - how bad is that!

Kek said...

Mmm, I'm trying to decide if it's better or worse than ACTUAL fingers. Sounds delicious, anyway.

Kek said...

Oh, it just occurred to me - Kathryn, you should enter the competition on the Nutella website to win a laptop. I'm sure Scotch Fingers dipped in Nutella counts as a recipe?

MTB Girl said...

Kek, I still think I need to come inspect...and make sure Jen hasn't made you any Nutella pastry things like she threatened. :P

You have been counting the days for a while now.

MTB Girl said...

Oh, and I do hope you'll forgive me :) I was in a bit of a haze, and well, you do have ...ahem... history with Nutella.

Kek said...

Jen bloodywell DID make those pastries for me...but that was over a year ago, and I ate only one. I made the kids polish off the rest. :-D

I remember perzacly when it was, since it was the day Aaron Ferguson *sigh* came to visit...oh, you were there too! I've got a photo of you and Jen hanging all over Mr Million Dollars somewhere...

Hope you didn't drool on his shirt.

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