Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Not listening!!

This morning I have my fingers firmly shoved in my ears and am making lots of la-la-la! noises in an attempt to drown out the sound of some of the inmates of my headspace, who are being a bit vocal. You know, the ones I don't really like. The less sane and rational ones.

Ugh. It's way too early for this crap.

I stupidly went to bed a bit too late last night, so wasn't all that keen on waking when the alarm went off. Tired and a bit ground down by this annoying pain ....not a good way to start the day.

Then I headed into the bathroom and stepped on the scales. After a couple of days of heading downwards, suddenly weight is inexplicably UP 300g since yesterday. Straight away the negative voices kicked in, all with the same Less than ten weeks to go. You'll never make it theme. My already low mood sank even further.

I got dressed anyway and got myself on the spin bike. Five minutes in, it got hard, and I'm not talking about my legs and lungs. I had to argue with myself - out loud a few times - to stay on the bike. I wasn't enjoying it, I don't really like cardio anyway. I was tired. I was struggling to hit my usual high points. And anyway, what's the point because I'm not going to make it.

How do you beat your own negative side? Today, none of my usual tricks were working, so I focused on how bad I would feel if I quit partway through, as opposed to how good I'd feel to finish, even if it wasn't my best ever effort.

Am I a quitter? Hell, no!

I got through it, and I'm choosing to ignore the voices, whatever they tell me today. I'm up for an all-out fight if they want to make something of it...

Bring it on! I feel like a good old-fashioned smackdown!


Cherub said...

You have inspired and motivated me and I am sure many others so much, even to hear you struggle too sometimes is good for the rest of us to hear.

I'm like you, I talk out loudly to myself, I tell myself, I can do it, I won't quit, only 15, 10 3 minutes to go etc.

When that doesn't work, I picture my clients, I see their faces, their pain and their determination and if they can do then as their trainer - so can I.

You will do it Kerryn and you will enjoy it, trust yourself and trust Liz. xx

LizN said...

Hang in there Kerryn. You're doing everything right and nothing wrong. Keep on keeping on and tell your inner Vera to go fugherself.....

Debstar said...

As you know Kek I'm doing a bit of research on what makes up a healthy lifestyle. I am amazed at how much information is out there that tells you to eat healthy, exercise more, drink water yet rarely is it mentioned to get adequate sleep. Lack of sleep affects your mood/mental health, makes you less inclined to exercise and does "stuff" to your blood glucose levels that has you running for chocolate.

It's got me baffled why it's not mentioned more.

Lisa Jane said...

Just what I needed to read this morning lovely. Some positive reinforcement.

I'm about to drag my ass off to do morning cardio. And the whole hour without excuses.


Sara said...

What's with the pain? Any idea what's causing that because it doesn't sound right. Are you 100% sure you haven't got a kidney infection or something? Or perhaps something in your paleo diet is not agreeing with you. BTW, WPC has been posted (I know.. I've reformed my usual slack ways). It's got less thickener, which also makes it now very low sodium.

Hanni said...

Those lil voices are haunting me too at the moment laid in bed last night fighting them away! Will i be ready in time?... Are you pushing yourself as hard as you could be?... Etc etc so frustrating!
Keep up the good work!

Nice to meet you by the way my name is Hannah : )

Unknown said...

Sleep honey... sleeeeep!! I have felt flat, sad and like a fatty fatty boombah for the last few days with not much energy to do much but sit around...

Fixed it with a good night sleep..

Have you figured out what the pain is??

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