Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Where did it go?

My positivity has deserted me and I'm being assaulted on all sides by doubts. I'm reminding myself that a couple of weeks without a decent night's sleep will do that. So will living in constant pain.

Last night ended with me in tears when all I wanted was to go to bed and sleeeeeep, but my stupid nose and stupid gut both turned traitor on me. Ha! Think you're gonna sleep? No sleep for YOU!

The fact that my weight is up way beyond where it ought to be for this point in my prep was playing on my mind, training for today was once again looking like a bust and I'd had no dinner because I was afraid to introduce any kind of food into my dodgy digestive system.

A few comforting words from Bike Boy plus some drugs and a feed of raisin toast, and I was feeling a bit better. I took a few minor precautions and actually managed to sleep undisturbed for almost eight hours. So I have a bit of a stiff neck from the extra pillows, but I can live with that.

The sleep has helped, but the doubts are still hanging around. I'm not making any hasty decisions yet, but time is running out here.... Seems I have some thinking to do.

No time for that today though, I have to finish this paperwork and get my butt to the tax agent this morning.


Cherub said...

Don't make any decisions when you are feeling like this. Can you get any time to chill this afternoon?

Take care x

Anonymous said...

kek! i think you are an inspiration! i know everyone has bad days and you are struggling with dramas, but you'll get there!

i loved watching you at your comp last year and remember - i drove like a loooong way to do that, and it was only to see you be awesome!

i am going to be there again this year too. you rock baby!


Sandra said...

Hey Kek,
Really enjoy your posts and think you're one amazing chick!
Hang in there, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through...I loooove my sleep and neeeeed my sleep...can't cope with even one interrupted night let alone all the time you've gone through.
Stay strong and look after yourself.


Sara said...

ARgh, you and me both, let's commiserate and then get it together.

Today I woke up having hardly slept on account of a small person crying 'Auuuuunty Saaaara' every 30 minutes in the night. And yet, she still wanted to get up and required feeding and entertaining at 7am. Then, this afternoon when I really had to finish an assignment I fell asleep for three hours, woke up and had to attack the chocolate and bananas with incredible enthusiasm. NOw it's 5pm and I've not really achieved anything today. Plus my tutor has denied an extension and NZ Post keep sending me the same stupid list of questions regarding a package that went missing in the post. Oh, AND I got a ticket for not displaying my rego sticker in my car. $200. See? And I feel fat. It's not just you. Waaaah! My life sucks too! ;)

Tomorrow will be better. Persist honey. Say no to a few people and make some 'you' time. Read something inspirational and get some sleep. Love ya!

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