Thursday, September 24, 2009

Finding some answers, but what's the question?

Things are a bit up-and-down. I haven't been blogging much, just haven't felt like it (still reading though, otherwise my feed reader gets eeeeeeek! totally out of control) and haven't been doing much of anything, really. Except working. Blah.

I can't even pinpoint what the problem is, which is really irritating. I like to be able to grab hold of whatever is bugging me and FIX IT, but no-can-do when you don't even know what it IS that's bugging you in the first place.

But I'm not waiting for things to resolve themselves, I'm making plans instead. I figure that I'll just act on them, and hope that: a) they help keep me (relatively) sane; and b) one of them promotes an AHA! moment and I can then find and rip out whatever's festering in the back of my head and get back to normal.

Plan A involves marathon working bees around the house - because idle hands are the devils' playground and all that.

Plan B is to find a new exercise activity I can try; one with a point other than looking good. Anything involving ball skills is O.U.T. (*yawn*), and I detest team sports. I had a momentary flash of brilliance, and thought i might try indoor rock-climbing (yes, I have acrophobia, but hey, everyone needs a challenge), but finding a venue that's less than an hour's drive is proving harder than expected. Still working on that one.

Plan C is to tee up a lunchtime training partner again for some fun at the park. I have someone in mind, but the weather ain't playing nice at the moment, so this is on hold.

Plan D is to take some time out and do some school holiday stuff with the kids - The Baby and I are off to see the new Disney movie tomorrow, for a start. :o)

There's a Plan E too, but I'm still thinking that through.

Now it's time to stop with the talking and get on with the DOING. I might be back later. Or tomorrow. Or not. Please bear with me while I sort out this technical hitch ....we'll be back to our usual programming soon. I hope.


Cherub said...

Standing by - or better still how about a race to the finish line. I could do with answers, questions, anything too!

ss2306 said...

Yeah, just go with the flow. It'll come to you - whatever it is.

MTB Girl said...

You'll love UP! I did :)

It may make you cry a couple of times, but it is a Disney movie, so you know it's all happy at the end. Have fun!!

LizN said...

Glad to see you back kiddo. I was beginning to get worried :)
Looking forward to the unfolding of ABCD and E

Unknown said...

Kerryn- when my parents died in 2005 it really derailed me. I felt rudderless and found my motivations and emotions were all over the place. I think the grieving period lasts a lot longer than you realise and affects you in ways you wouldn't expect. I know you can't just put your life on hold and wait for it all to pass cos it doesn't just pass. Time improves things and normality starts to come back. I know I'm making assumptions with you - but maybe grieving is the at the centre of your malcontent. I ended up changing careers and I;m sure that it was greatly due to what I was going through.Hmmm- not sure any of this is of any use to you but it's another view of things!

Kek said...

Thanks Linda ...I appreciate your thoughts and I know that grief is definitely part of what's going on.

I have no doubt that I'll get back to normal eventually. :o)

Sara said...

Maybe it's because next week would have been your competition and subconsciously you are down on yourself about it? And then it's all confused up with feelings about your Dad?

Of course, you shouldn't really listen to me because I'm a STUDENT Psychologist and we are apparently dangerous to ourselves and society in general.

Luv ya! Remember,you can always email me for more terrible advice and loving support.

Debstar said...

I agree with Linda. My sister died a number of years back and while we weren't close it still knocked the wind out of my sails for a long time. The motivation to exercise went from full on to zero.

You are on the right track though, invest your time in your boys. As you know they don't hang around much once they become teenagers. How about a game or 2 of indoor bowls or a run around the park with a football with your boy/boys.

Let us know what you think of UP.

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