Friday, September 04, 2009

Is that all you got?

With the emotional challenges of the past few weeks, I've been extremely vulnerable to the slightest whisper from my beast, telling me that I need a sugar hit. Or a glass or two seven of wine. Or the quickest, crappiest snack that I can get hold of, rather than anything that takes a little effort.

Beastie would chime in with: "you need it"; "You deserve it"; "You can be good tomorrow"; "Oh go on, it'll make you feel better". All lies and excuses, of course, but I really wasn't in battle mode. In fact, my defences were completely shot, so the minute that crap started up in my head, I'd be figuring out a way to get my fix, even while I was telling myself otherwise.

That's kind of the mental equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and going La-la-la. Ignoring that kind of muddled thinking doesn't make it go away, it just leaves the thoughts festering below the surface. Eventually they're gonna bubble up again and they'll be even harder to resist.

This week really has marked a turning point for me. I've been slowly getting back into my groove, making each day a little better than the last, eating well, doing some training, and seeing the scales reflect my return to sanity. More importantly, yesterday afternoon when Beastie resurfaced from wherever she'd been lurking, I stood firm.

I gave her a good smackdown in GJs when I wandered in to grab a long black and found myself having a mental argument in front of the cake cabinet. Then in the supermarket, when she began telling me that I "should" have a treat because it's Thursday (Hey, it made sense at the time...), and suggested a Tim Tam Cornetto, I actually opened the freezer cabinet and had the box in my hand. Then I stopped, took a deep breath and thought: I don't want THIS, I want to reach my weight goal.

So I put back the Cornettos, pulled out my sword and cut off her head. (Metaphorically speaking, of course. No need for Woollies to call for a Cleanup in aisle 3)



No doubt she'll be back, but every win makes me a little bit stronger. I'll be ready for her next time.

5 comments:

Saja said...

I've been struggling with my fat lazy demon today too! I think it was the wine last night, woke up feeling like a small elephant and for some reason, that translates to.. eat more? Hmm..

Debstar said...

Can I send my beastie around to your place for a quick kicking? She won't listen to me.

ss2306 said...

Me and you both today having a win.

I was 20 metres away from the freezer with a 4 litre tub of neapolitan icecream in the trolley which was the managers special - $5. It was a huge saving of $4 something. It was for the kids I swear. But then I stopped thought the kids don't need it and I don't want it in the house in case of a "weak" moment so went and put it back.

We deserve a drink to celebrate (lol).

Kek said...

Aww, sweetie, you're not the slightest bit like an elephant. But I'm with you - "feeling fat" always makes you want to eat. Why IS that?

Deb, send her round...I'm just in the mood today.

Shelley, I was at the supermarket just before and as I walked by the bottle shop, I started imagining a nice glass of wine with dinner. I got out of there as fast as I could. LOL. I'll celebrate with another scale loss tomorrow instead.

Raechelle said...

Yes! EVERY win makes us a little stronger!
Good for you girl!
And thank you again for your supportive comments....they really mean alot!
And kudos on passing by the bottle shop! :-)
Cheers!
Raechelle

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