Hippo on the loose

My slightly crazy metabolism has kicked back into gear these past couple of weeks, after being a bit smothered for a while there. I'm waking up starving just before the alarm goes off, and I'm hanging out for each meal by the time I sit down to eat it. That's all normal for me.

But today was one of those Hungry Hippo days, where I just could not stifle the hunger pangs, no matter what. I ate my breakfast of oats, whey and skim milk at about 7:15am. By the time I got to work, I was ravenous again. I'd only chucked in an apple for morning tea, thinking I'd have a slightly lower calorie day today - but I scoffed that and knew it wasn't going to cut it. So I dashed over to the supermarket and grabbed a Slim Secrets bar. Better!

By 11:15 the worms were gnawing again. I hung out till 11:45, then heated my beef stroganoff, sweet potato and big pile of beans and asparagus. That was gone in about 5 minutes flat. Uh-oh. At 2:00pm, I grabbed two rice thins out of the packet on my shelf and shovelled them in. The guy who sits behind me is an endurance cyclist. He just raised his eyebrows and said: Those will hold you for about three minutes. Then he pulled out a loaf of bread and said Help yourself.

An hour later, a slice of bread, two more rice thins and a can of tuna went down the hatch. At 3:30, I was ready to chew my own arm off. I need SUGAAAAAAR!! I wailed. My cyclist colleague pulled a Chup-a-chup out of his drawer and offered it to me. I looked at it doubtfully - this hunger wasn't going to be satisfied by that little morsel...

Funny, thing, the tummy rumbles completely stopped after I ate it. Chup-a-chups must be magic or something.

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There was roadwork going on outside the office today. At one point the guys started up a particularly noisy machine that made the building shake. One of my colleagues asked Is that an earthquake? Another immediately chipped in with No, that's just Kerryn's stomach.

Funny buggers.

Recipe Alert!

You've gotta love a long weekend - finally, I have time to get inventive with food again.

This chicken taco salad tasted like something really indulgent, but was only around 359 Calories - and it was extremely filling.

Heavenly treat

I have to thank my good friend Sara for recommending Loving Earth raw dark chocolate to me (yes, I know that was months ago. I'm a bit slow, OK?).



It's been sitting in the pantry for almost two weeks now. I decided that tonight I'd have a treat, so out it came, and OH MY GOD! This stuff is fabulous. The texture is amazing, the flavour intense and I think I'm in love too. I've had one weeny square, and I actually think that might be enough. Maybe two...

If you're a dark chocolate connoiseur, get hold of some, quick! You'll thank me for it.

On the up and up

I'm having an insane time at work at the moment. The impending end of financial year always has a major impact on my workload, and on top of that, I'm being frustrated at every turn by system failures and other annoyances. Good thing I manage to keep my sense of humour most of the time.

So work is sucking up a lot of my time, and blogging has to take a back seat for now. Hey, I'm doing my best...

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I was looking for something in my blog archives earlier, and came across a post that made me go "Oh...." I wish I'd re-read this a couple of months ago. It might not have got me back in the game straight away, but it would probably have made me less miserable. Sometimes I really should listen to my own advice.

Anyway, training is going just fine and so is nutrition. The scales are heading down, down, down and I'm feeling fantastic. It's like a switch got flicked or something.

Meanwhile, I have to get to work. My long weekend starts tomorrow. Can't wait!

Will you be my friend?

I'm still flat-out busy, but going great guns on the attitude front, as well as winning the battle with training and nutrition. I'll make time over the long weekend to catch up with everyone. *sigh* I know I keep saying that, but I have four days in a row off, so no excuses!

Anyways, I have no time to finish the looong post I got halfway through writing in my lunch break, but I just wanted to report that I've got out of my boring old rut and have come up with some goals and events that excite me. One thing I'm definitely doing is Phat Camp (Melbourne, of course) on 14th-16th November.

If I bring a friend, we can both save $50. :D Anyone keen?

Gotta run ....I've got an early start in the morning.

Is it Saturday yet?

It's been a whirlwind week, not much time for anything I want to do - which is kind of coming back to earth with a major crash after the weekend. Reasons being:

1. I've worked every day from Monday to Friday (long story, I might get to that one day soon...), have been there pretty much till stumps every night, and even started at 7:30am on Wednesday. Add in the hour-plus it takes me to drive there and then repeat in reverse on the way home, and there isn't a lot of the day left over.

2. Having been away for the weekend, we had no food pre-prepared, no washing done etc, so I've had to play catch up, which eats into the evenings a bit.

3. Parental obligations meant we were out on Wednesday night, to see The Middle Child do his thing at the school's VCE music performance. Yes, he was good, but I don't do weeknight outings. I like my pjs and cuppa on the couch, thanks.

4. I've been up early every day to train. Mostly 6:00am starts, but on Wednesday it was a very grim 5:30am, since I needed to be at work early. I haven't done that for a while. Ugh.

5. Bike Boy and I spoiled ourselves last night and had the best tapas in Melbourne at Movida, followed by Rickie Lee Jones' final Australian show. It was a great night, but I was pretty tired and cranky by the time we got home. Proof that I really am old and crusty. *sigh*

Looooong week? You bet.

Now I'm just glad it's the weelend. Apart from the fact that my legs don't want to work at all. *wince* I may get a chance to catch up on some blogs this afternoon. Or I may just have a hot bath and a nice long nap.

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For Charlotte: our lovely getaway last weekend was at Breakneck Gorge Retreat. Absolutely worth a visit!

The bright bits

Things definitely haven't been all bad in my world, in spite of the whole Bizarro biz.

For one thing, we've created a gorgeous garden - and I'm always happy when I'm watching my plants grow. I've even squeezed in a mini orchard, with a lemon, Tahitian lime, Kaffir lime, cumquat, passionfruit and a grove of (well, four) feijoas.

The kids have been great. Number One Son got a new job recently and may actually be finished uni this year (we can only hope). The Middle Child is halfway through his final year of school and doing well. He's still aceing music and performing well in all other subjects, while juggling a part time job, a girlfriend, driving lessons and practicising his rock star skills. The Baby has only had two detentions this year (and he swears one was not his fault), is still my hug-monkey and TV partner and I hope he stays that way for a bit longer yet.

We've made an effort to have something of a social life too, and have been out to dinner, done some entertaining at home and generally tried not to be crusty old hermits.

Plus Bike Boy and I celebrated 25 years of marriage last week. We escaped for a three day weekend in Hepburn Springs and lounged in front of the wood heater, splashed around in the spa (with champagne in hand, of course), explored the local wineries and eateries and just relaxed.

Our accommodation:


The views:




On top of all that, I now have only six years and six months until I can retire. Now that's something to be happy about.

The weirdness that is the inside of my head

I feel as though I've been living in my own version of Bizarro World (yes, I confess; I used to love Superman comics when I was a kid...). It seems like I've been blundering around for months, doing exactly the opposite of whatever I intend to do.

If I set myself a goal, I head in the reverse direction as fast as I can. Want to increase my strength? Stay in bed and blow off training; leave those dumbbells gathering dust. Clothes a bit tight, don't like what I see in the mirror? OK then, I'll clean up my eating and drop a few kgs..... Except I find myself in the bakery at lunchtime, or cruising the confectionary aisle at the supermarket. Need to improve my mindset and haul myself out of a big, big slump? Alrighty, I'll just cut myself off from everybody who inspires me or supports my efforts and then indulge in feeling unloved and ignored.

What the HELL?

There is some weird shit going on in the darkest crevasses of my mind. But I'm doing some mental housekeeping and attempting to shine some light in there and scare the monsters away. Everyone knows that monsters are afraid of bright light... Somewhere, deep down in there are thoughts and emotions that I've been trying to ignore. Well, I've proven that ignoring them doesn't work, so I'm planning on hauling them out into the light of day, shaking the dust off and taking a good look at them.

I'm pretty sure that all the monsters are related to each other and all of them are named Fear. Fear of failure? Fear that I'm not good enough? Fear that I'll be exposed for the fraud I "really" am? I'm practising grabbing hold of any negative thoughts before they get out of control, and really examining them. If I come up with a rational response to those stupid statements, they don't have much power. I have a few other tricks up my sleeve too and I'm working on them, slowly.

Meanwhile, I need to just get on with things, no matter what the monsters are whispering in my ear. Today, I managed to shut them up at 6:00am when they told me one more day won't matter, just stay in bed; you're tired.... and I got up anyway and spent some quality time with Coach Troy. It was a minor smackdown, but it's a start.

Today will be a good day - how can it not? Any day that features a Paleo pancake has to be a winner.