Friday, February 15, 2013

My (not so) lovely lady lumps

He thinks HE'S got it bad! Image source.

Ageing is so much fun (Note the sarcastic tone). Your once abundant locks become thin and cling to your scalp like scant strands of wet seaweed, whilst on your freaking CHIN the hair follicles are having a party. Your eyesight fades to the point that going out without a capacious handbag is not an option because you can't read a menu or decipher your text messages without your reading glasses. Things wear out and other strange, new things appear...

Last year I noticed an almond-sized lump in my left upper arm, sort of to one side of my triceps. An ultrasound showed that one to be a lipoma - a mass of fatty tissue that your body just decides on a whim to deposit somewhere it has no business to be. They're harmless and no treatment is required unless they become painful or restrict movement. And by "treatment", I mean surgical removal. That's not required in my case, thankfully.

Then a few weeks back I realised that I had a tender spot in the palm of my left hand. "Dr Mum" diagnosed that one for me as a ganglion cyst. Our family is famous for them. They have nothing to do with nerves, so the "ganglion" part is a misnomer, but they tend to grow on tendons or joints. Mine is right on the tendon that works my little finger (so it isn't from overuse of my MIDDLE finger, before anyone gets smart...) and it's a painful nuisance when I grip the steering wheel or my bike handlebars. I foresee a "procedure" in my future for that one.

That should be enough bizarre growths for any one human body, but nooooo. It seems I'm not done growing odd stuff just yet. I now also have a lump on the sole of my right foot, which the podiatrist thinks is most likely a fibroma. I'll find out for sure after I get it scanned tomorrow.

I'm a bit over it, frankly. Medicare is great and all, but the gaps for radiology services are outrageous and my wallet is hurting. And all of this lump business makes me wonder what the hell is next? A giant growth in the middle of my nose? An extra butt cheek? Sheesh.

Tell me about your strange lumps and bumps to make me feel better, would you?

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8 comments:

kathrynoh said...

I have a fatty lump near my elbow. Well I did have, I can't find it now! I also have one on my back but prolly would never have know about it if my massage therapist didn't tell me about it.

Recently I had a wart thing grow on my arm. I asked my doctor about it and she was very dismissive about it which pissed me off because aren't you supposed to see the doctor about any weird shit like that?

Kek said...

Aww, see? Now I don't feel like such a freak! :)

I forgot about warts...got a few of those too, including an odd "kind of a wart"-y thing that grew in the middle of my forehead a couple of years back! I had that one removed by a plastic surgeon. There are limits to what one can tolerate...

Magda said...

I have a small fatty lump at the base of my neck on the left side. My mum had one similar and hers grew big 'tentacles' that went half way up her scalp. Removing it was a minor nightmare. My GP doesn't want to remove mine yet. I mean lets wait for it to follow in mum's footsteps.

Kek said...

Oh, yeah Magda...what a great plan. O_o

Cinders said...

I had a disgusting sebacious cyst under my armpit which caused a week of pain and left me unable to life my arm and my g'friend has just had a massive ganglion cyst removed from around her toes, 3 weeks on crutches and has to wear runners for the next 2 months.. aahh, aging.

Kek said...

Cinders, I would have referred to that cyst as a "Bubo" (Bubonic plague lesion). Sorry, warped sense of humour... ;)

Sara said...

I had a scaly lump grow on the inside of my leg, sort of mid-calf. It was there for about 2 years, just growing bigger. I got it biopsied and it was apparently some benign skin thingy that they can excise if it annoys you enough. Then one day, it started shrinking and now there is just a barely visible white mark where it used to be. I'm pretty pleased about that because I did not like it.

Maryanne said...

I have a lump on my abdomen - dr is not convinced its not a cancerous growth!!!! Great!!!!

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