|He thinks HE'S got it bad! Image source.|
Ageing is so much fun (Note the sarcastic tone). Your once abundant locks become thin and cling to your scalp like scant strands of wet seaweed, whilst on your freaking CHIN the hair follicles are having a party. Your eyesight fades to the point that going out without a capacious handbag is not an option because you can't read a menu or decipher your text messages without your reading glasses. Things wear out and other strange, new things appear...
Last year I noticed an almond-sized lump in my left upper arm, sort of to one side of my triceps. An ultrasound showed that one to be a lipoma - a mass of fatty tissue that your body just decides on a whim to deposit somewhere it has no business to be. They're harmless and no treatment is required unless they become painful or restrict movement. And by "treatment", I mean surgical removal. That's not required in my case, thankfully.
Then a few weeks back I realised that I had a tender spot in the palm of my left hand. "Dr Mum" diagnosed that one for me as a ganglion cyst. Our family is famous for them. They have nothing to do with nerves, so the "ganglion" part is a misnomer, but they tend to grow on tendons or joints. Mine is right on the tendon that works my little finger (so it isn't from overuse of my MIDDLE finger, before anyone gets smart...) and it's a painful nuisance when I grip the steering wheel or my bike handlebars. I foresee a "procedure" in my future for that one.
That should be enough bizarre growths for any one human body, but nooooo. It seems I'm not done growing odd stuff just yet. I now also have a lump on the sole of my right foot, which the podiatrist thinks is most likely a fibroma. I'll find out for sure after I get it scanned tomorrow.
I'm a bit over it, frankly. Medicare is great and all, but the gaps for radiology services are outrageous and my wallet is hurting. And all of this lump business makes me wonder what the hell is next? A giant growth in the middle of my nose? An extra butt cheek? Sheesh.
Tell me about your strange lumps and bumps to make me feel better, would you?