Wednesday, June 03, 2015

Back in Oz

Sawadee ka! I'm back from my Thai holiday. 

Don't worry, you didn't miss a thing. It was really quite unbearable.* We planned a lazy, relaxing holiday to mark our thirtieth wedding anniversary, and here's what we got:

Day after day, we had to eat this food....

Pork something or others, wrapped in noodles and deep fried. Blech.

Sunday brunch included Raclette. Disgusting. I mean, who likes melted cheese on anything?

Soft-shell crab in a green papaya salad. By the pool. Dreadful.

Pad Thai, presented in an egg "bowl". This place was so bad, we
went back again just to be sure it was no good.

Complimentary fruit every arvo. Free stuff? Nah, nobody likes that.

Sunday brunch seafood. Lousy selection... nothing but prawns, oysters, mussels, bugs,
crabs, salmon, fresh sushi made to order right in front of you.

Desserts. You know I hate desserts.

And in the afternoons, there were naps that needed to be taken. Or maybe just a quiet read, whilst looking out at the awful view.

We had to drink horrid concoctions like these....

Cosmpolitan. With beach view. Yuk.

Bubbles, every damn day. 

Unlimited Bloody Marys at Sunday brunch. Not even close to acceptable. 

Mmm, I don't know... mojito? Can't recall but I'm sure it was awful.

Another G&T forced down.
 And the hotel was dreadful. Just look at this place. Pfft. I don't know how they can call it a five-star resort...

We kept finding tropical flowers in our room. Ugh.

The resort is built around pools and ponds, with lush tropical gardens. The scent of frangipanis was just horrid.

The pool had to be swum in, numerous times every single day... 

With only 15 rooms accessing the lagoon pool, we had it all to ourselves most of the time.
Where are the crowds? The dive-bombing children? I ask you...

Our patio, shutters closed for privacy, with our own pool entrance.  Unbearable.

Perfect pool, perfect weather. Aargh!

The pools were open 24/7. No 10pm curfew? Unacceptable.

There were storms on two of our ten days. Nothing to do but sleep, read, eat and relax. Sooo boring.

I had to suffer through foot massages and mani/pedis....

It cost me less than half of what I pay at home. I should complain.

And there was sunset after tedious sunset...



See? Horrible!

Is that the best they can do? Really?

Even when it stormed, there were sunsets to endure.

Nope, you wouldn't have liked it at all.

*Actually, it was bloody marvellous. If you like doing a whole lot of nothing in perfect surroundings, book yourself into the TwinPalms Phuket Resort. It's the duck's guts. 

If you prefer to be sightseeing and doing stuff, there are tours and trips to suit anyone. We'd done it all before though and preferred to just chill out this time. Which we did. 

I wrote a review for Trip Advisor if you're interested to know more...



Liz N said...

Good to see you blogging Kekster :)

Kek said...

I'll try to do it more frequently, Liz. ;)

Pip said...

Love your sarcasm! Your photos are terrific, really love the stormy sunset!

Sara said...

I know, right? Such conditions! I hope you complained loudly and constantly. ;)

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